More on some of our Christian Kids are hurting

Further to the post I just wrote I had the idea that I would give a brief view of how I felt when I was a teenager. Sometimes hearing how people feel opens out eyes.

After that week I felt let down by everyone, I felt that I had no value because no once seemed to care. I put up lots of walls and kept on going as long as I was seen as having it all together everything seemed to be ok. I was involved in a lot of leadership over the years but had all this hurt in my heart. I suppose I stated to do "works" to find my value.

I felt judged and that my mums breakdown was my fault, not one told me different so I carried this until I was 19.

Because I felt so bad about myself I started to hate myself I use to cover my mirror up with photos so I could not see myself, I tried so hard to fit in but because I felt so unworthy I felt clumsy and useless.

My school work suffered because I was afraid of failing and I knew I could pass without studding, if I studied and failed that would have destroyed me so I did not study much at all. (pretty silly hey if I knew I could pass without failing, then it would makes sence that studding could help me more) but when you are in that place you do things that are not logical.

Because I thought the people in Church did not care I did not know how to take complements or anything positive said about me I did not know what to do and thought they were just being nice.

I had lots of non Christian friends but found it hard to build relationships with Christians.

Now this is how I reacted different people react in different ways some rebel and some hide like I did. That is why it can be so hard sometimes to know if people are hurting when they are hiders. It does not matter who they are wether the come from a single parent family, a family where the parents are leaders, pastors kids, teachers kids, doctors kids. The fact is life happens and God can use it for good or the enemy can use it.

I don't want anyone else to feel how I did and for as long as I did. I don't know what the answer is other than to look out around you and pray and get help for our young people. To be real and not be afraid to put our arms around someone and say are you ok. If they are ok that's great at least they know they matter.

I can share this now because I know my value is in the Lord because he made me, I can use this experience for him. I have come a long way since those days and have worked through much of this. I just want people to be aware that Christian Kids can be hurting just as much as the next kid and we also need to look around our Church community as well as the whole community.

I am in a Church now that is loving and accepting and reaches out to its young but there maybe some that fall through through cracksI realise I need to be part of the solution for our young people.