Imagine Me

My friend Martha posted this on facebook it really spoke to me.

by Kirk Franklin

Imagine me…loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I…I imagine me. In a place, of no insecurities and I'm finally happy cause I imagine me. Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me cause they never did deserve me, can you imagine me. Saying no to thoughts that try to control me, remembering all you told me, Lord can you imagine me? Over what my momma said, and healed from what my daddy did and I wanna live and not read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

Imagine me…Being strong and not letting people break me down, you won't get that joy this time around. Can you imagine me? In a world, where nobody has to live afraid, because of your love, fear's gone away, can you imagine me. Letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and my heart will dance cause I don't have to read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

This song is dedicated to people like me, those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self esteem. You never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough, but imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now…

Gone. Gone. It’s Gone. All Gone. Oh It’s All Gone. Every Sin. Every Mistake. Every Failure. Its’ All Gone! Depression. Gone. By Faith. It’s Gone. Low Self Esteem. Hallelujah! It’s Gone. All Gone. It’s Gone. All My Scars. All My Pain. It’s In The Past. Its’ Yesterday. Its’ All Gone. What Your Mother Did. What your Father Did. Hallelujah!

IT’S GONE!

Hurting Children. part 3

This past year I have been so blessed by getting to know so many wonderful children and parents and love how our house is often full of children, some days overflowing lol.

I am more and more aware that everything is a process. God softens our heart, then brings us to a place where we ask the Lord to use us or let us see and then he shows us a situation that has been right under our noses:)

This has just happened to me. Just over a week ago I posted how there are hurting kids in our Church's . In that post I prayed

Father help me to see our Hurting kids
and give me the strength to do something
and to make a difference. Help me to overcome
the fear of man.
Keep me real so I don't miss the signs and my
heart soft so I don't turn a blind eye.

Well the Lord has answered my prayer. (I did not think it would be answered so fast). The Lord spoke to me and showed me that he has given me the gift of relationship with some children and asked me what am I going to do with this gift. I was so challenged and repented for just going on with the flow and not seeing what was really going on. My teacher training was telling me something did not add up but everything from the outside seemed OK. God has since opened my eyes.

Looking back over the last few weeks I can see how all the puzzle pieces have been put into place to bring me to this point where I could give myself over to God ask him to use me in the area of hurting kids and then God show me what he wants me to do. The Lord has also been challenging me on how far I am prepared to go for him. Am I even willing to lay my life down for children that are not my own. He has also shown me that the best way I can love and minister to some mothers is by loving and giving attention to their children. Making sure my motives and all that I do is out of God's love. By letting God's love flow throw me. Without his love it would be impossible to lay my life down daily.

Without him this task would seem so overwhelming and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel but because God is involved I know he has it all worked out and I just have to listen obey and be open.

John 13

34 A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another;

as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another.

Psalm 30

Psalm 30 (New American Standard Bible)

A Psalm; a Song at the Dedication of the House. A Psalm of David.

1 I will extol You, O LORD, for You have lifted me up,
And have not let my enemies rejoice over me.

2 O LORD my God,
I cried to You for help, and You healed me.

3 O LORD, You have brought up my soul from Sheol;
You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit.

4 Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones,
And give thanks to His holy name.

5 For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

6 Now as for me, I said in my prosperity,
"I will never be moved."

7 O LORD, by Your favor You have made my mountain to stand strong;
You hid Your face, I was dismayed.

8 To You, O LORD, I called,
And to the Lord I made supplication:

9 "What profit is there in my blood, if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your faithfulness?

10"Hear, O LORD, and be gracious to me;
O LORD, be my helper."

11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

12 That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

Tagged by Jo-Anne

I've been "stealth" tagged by a "Jo-Anne" it's my turn to tell 6 things about myself and tag 6 other lovely ladies.

So here are the rules...Post rules on your blog, write 6 random things about yourself, tag 6 people and then pass it on for fun...

1. I love Toowoomba and having seasons (summer, Autumn, winter and spring),
2. I grew up near the Beach and miss the beach soooo much,
3. I have a thing for Chocolate.. Himmm did someone say Chocolate,
4. I make fake/faux cakes and love anything craft related,
5. I have 3 gorgeous children,
6. The only thing that really makes me cringe is eye ball injuries, eating them (can't do the fish eye thing anymore I was made to eat them as a child) or seeing them being eaten or thinking about eating eye balls.

Now it is my turn to tag some other ladies as I know a lot of ladies who have already done this I will just tag 2. If you have not done this and want to, I tag you:)

I tag
Merrin and
Martha

More on some of our Christian Kids are hurting

Further to the post I just wrote I had the idea that I would give a brief view of how I felt when I was a teenager. Sometimes hearing how people feel opens out eyes.

After that week I felt let down by everyone, I felt that I had no value because no once seemed to care. I put up lots of walls and kept on going as long as I was seen as having it all together everything seemed to be ok. I was involved in a lot of leadership over the years but had all this hurt in my heart. I suppose I stated to do "works" to find my value.

I felt judged and that my mums breakdown was my fault, not one told me different so I carried this until I was 19.

Because I felt so bad about myself I started to hate myself I use to cover my mirror up with photos so I could not see myself, I tried so hard to fit in but because I felt so unworthy I felt clumsy and useless.

My school work suffered because I was afraid of failing and I knew I could pass without studding, if I studied and failed that would have destroyed me so I did not study much at all. (pretty silly hey if I knew I could pass without failing, then it would makes sence that studding could help me more) but when you are in that place you do things that are not logical.

Because I thought the people in Church did not care I did not know how to take complements or anything positive said about me I did not know what to do and thought they were just being nice.

I had lots of non Christian friends but found it hard to build relationships with Christians.

Now this is how I reacted different people react in different ways some rebel and some hide like I did. That is why it can be so hard sometimes to know if people are hurting when they are hiders. It does not matter who they are wether the come from a single parent family, a family where the parents are leaders, pastors kids, teachers kids, doctors kids. The fact is life happens and God can use it for good or the enemy can use it.

I don't want anyone else to feel how I did and for as long as I did. I don't know what the answer is other than to look out around you and pray and get help for our young people. To be real and not be afraid to put our arms around someone and say are you ok. If they are ok that's great at least they know they matter.

I can share this now because I know my value is in the Lord because he made me, I can use this experience for him. I have come a long way since those days and have worked through much of this. I just want people to be aware that Christian Kids can be hurting just as much as the next kid and we also need to look around our Church community as well as the whole community.

I am in a Church now that is loving and accepting and reaches out to its young but there maybe some that fall through through cracksI realise I need to be part of the solution for our young people.

Christian Kids are hurting in out Churchs. (part 1)

Before reading this blog I would like to let you know that I have not written this to condemn anyone or the Church. I write this not out of bitterness or hurt. I am writing this out of the heaviness of my heart and I for one want to change and be aware of others.

I am going to be sharing something that I have not spoken much about, something that is really hard to talk about, I am not doing this to hurt anyone but to help people.

I have just been speaking to a childhood friend who has shared the hurts and struggles she faced in her teenage years due to family breakdown. It broke my heart to hear some of what she went through and what she carried alone. This girl and her family had been involved in a Church all of her life. It struck me that no one stepped in and helped her and her family. She is not the only one, over the years I have been told stories of hurt and abandonment carried by Children and teenagers.

I also went through this as a teenager. When I was 13 my mother had a breakdown, my father was away for work for a week and I did not know how to get hold of him. A lady from the Church we were involved with came and visited us and saw what was happening and then left, no one called to see if I was ok, everyone in the Church talked about it in secret. No one ever spoke to me about it and it was pushed aside. But I was treated differently after that. My parents were very active in the Church and I know everyone knew what happened and that I was alone.

The things that happened that week should never have had to be carried by a 13 year old alone. I was at home for 1 week with a lady who did not know who I was. A lot of things happened that week which will not benefit anyone by me giving all the details.

The outcome of that week was good , the Lord used the breakdown as testimony of his healing power and his unconditional love. Since that incident mother has been healed of mental illness and my parents became pastors soon after the healing.

I am coming across more and more of these stories and seeing lives off track and wrong choices taken because no one was there. There are so many young people and young adults walking around feeling abandoned and unloved who have been raised in the Church.

I know that there is no such thing as a perfect Church, if there was such a thing there would be no people in it. I believed people want to the part of the solution, and a lot of people probably don't see that our Christian kids are hurting. Fear has a lot to do with this not wanting to stick our noses into someone else's business. Often we put so much effort into the "unsaved", street kids that we don't look around us, to the kids in our own Church. Don't get me wrong I think out reach is needed and am all for it. But the kids in our Church matter just as much.

This post is to bring the fact to our awareness that there are christian kids hurting out there. If we know that there are things going on in a family or a child's life we need to speak up. If we don't know what to do go to the pastors or leaders and get help and pray for them. Please get help and pray for these kids. It can be so easy to get caught up in our lives and not see, I have been praying that God will open my eyes to hurting kids. The enemy wants our Kids we need to stand in the gap for them and help them.

I look at all the wasted years of my life that I struggled with what I went through and it would have been so easy for me to go the wrong way. A lot of years I was of no use to God because of all the hurts I carried that I was blinded to others hurting around me I was so scared that I lost some of my compassion for people, I was just warming a seat in Church and going through the motions.

Father help me to see our Hurting kids

and give me the strength to do something

and to make a difference. Help me to overcome

the fear of man.

Keep me real so I don't miss the signs and my

heart soft so I don't turn a blind eye.

Titus 2 v 3 -5

I have been thinking on the scriptures Titus 2 v 3-5.

The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour

as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to

much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to

love their husbands, to love their children,

[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to

their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

In today's society where so many wrong messages are sent out to our women we need the older women to take a stand and be role models, build relationships and speak truth. Likewise younger women need to humble ourselves and listen.

I would like to encourage all you mature women to put your hand up and reach out to the younger generation. Don't let the enemy talk you into believing that you have nothing to give. If you walk with the Lord and want to be used by him, have experienced heartaches, struggles and victories, sorrow, joy and his love then you have all you need. Just open your heart and share.

By mature women I am meaning any of you who have older teenage children to adult children you don't have to be a grandmother sitting in a rocking chair:). If you have not had children that does not discount you, you have much to offer.

Allot of the younger generation are getting their life advise from daytime talk shows, which are filling women's heads with new age, humanism and popular culture views.

Young mums or young marrieds or younger singles make yourself available, the older generation have so much to give if given the chance.

I look forward to developing relationships with older women of God. I know this is not an easy thing to do, to find another woman who you can build relationship with and it does take time but I am sure the benefits outweigh the time it takes. Being an only child I am use to being by myself and can go for days without talking to other women and can so easily get caught up in my little projects and little world of husband and Children. This is something that I have to be aware of.

Our Church has started a Grandads ministry for men it is such a great idea where a group of "Grandfathers" in our church have offered their time to younger men to pray with them, befriend them or just be an ear. I would love to see something like this for the women as well. Just think of what would happen if every church offered this with strong Christian role models. Maybe marriages would benefit, divorce would be lowered, family relationships strengthened and peoples personal relationship with the Lord strengthened.

Okay girls it is time to turn off the daytime talk shows and go and build a relationship with someone.