Lazy bum in my head

Yesterday I took a day off from the world, did not book anything in, did not go to the bible study I usually go to, did not ring anybody and I did not answer the phone (well no one rang which is really strange) maybe God knew I would not have the strength not to answer the phone and intervened. lol

After the last few challenging weeks it was so nice to take a day out. I went to spotlight with my youngest 2. We got some Easter things to make for Easter, then we went to the park for morning tea. As it turned out 2 ladies for playgroup were there so I did have some social chat with them. I did not do any house work, (and the world kept turning) which is really hard for me and the house was a mess. God has been challenging me to slow down a bit and listen to him and stop doing all the time. Funny thing is that is what the speaker spoke about on Thursday ladies night as well as raising children. I really struggle with being lazy my father use to say it to me a lot when I was a child and he never stopped working or doing things for the Church when I was a kid. I don't think he fully understands how it has impacted me. When he came to visit over Christmas he told me to slow down and not make his mistakes. He has overdone it and now has to rest. But how do you undo 30ish years of this??????? But I was not quite ready to hear that then.

Whenever I sit down I feel like I am lazy, I usually am doing something else if I am watch TV or talking on the phone. It drives my husband nuts that I can't sit still. I do really try but have a battle going on in my head the whole time. I do confess that I am alot better than I use to be, maybe some of my husbands laid back nature has rubbed off on me. Mess and clutter does not bother him, if I let it build up I get a little stressed.

A few weeks ago I finally worked out why I don't eat breakfast and lunch it is all tied up with this whole lazy issue. I feel that I am lazy if I set down to eat and I don't deserve to. It is funny I council mums all the time to take time out and smell the roses, eat properly etc... and yet I don't live my own words. That really has hit home lately. Our minds can be such strongholds, but through the grace of God we can overcome. The sad thing is we miss out on so many good things if we don't deal with these things.

I will keep posting about how the Lord walks me through this.