Way of Agape situation:)

This weekend I was having a bit of a pity party in my head. I had not told anyone how I was feeling and pushed it down deep, I still was doing all that I had to, but was just doing the motions I had lost my spark.

You see my husband has been working long hours and long weeks and I can't remember the last time my husband had a day off. So after a long and hard week with the children I was looking at me and how hard it had been. I was being sooo selfish. Then on the Saturday my husband came home 2 hours later than he should have and I was not upset just feeling neglected.

He started sharing what was going on at work and how tired he was and later he saw something else that needed doing at home and made the comment that he would add it to the ever growing list. Then the penny dropped and I started looking at him and seeing how tired he was and that he had more to deal with than I. He is working long hours (5am to 8:30pm most days) dealing with parent/children issues, has assignments due plus his other usual work duties. Once I changed my attitude and took it to God, I felt a huge weigh being lifted.

I then decided that the next day I would bless him my plan was to clean the house, cook him a nice meal and start doing some of his jobs. The first job I though I would do was to mow the lawn. So the next day I got up early and cleaned the house, set the table for dinner with extra care, put candles out and used the best table cloth. Then at 3pm I decided I would go and start the mowing. I got the mower out and it would not start, then I checked the fuel and found that the little boy I look after had filled the mower up with leaves and sticks again. I was so disappointed that I sat in the back yard and cried. Not long after my husband rang and said they had finished early and he was heading home. (the mower is now fixed and I plan to mow tomorrow). I did however go and make him one of his fav desserts instead of mowing.

The point of this story is to share with you that yes at times life can get us down, and it only takes one thought to start a pity party. I was so busy feeling miserable and looking at me that I could not see my husband and what he was going through. Once I did and took it to the Lord and dealt with my attitude and started putting my husband first. I felt sooo free, no longer was it all to hard, I was having fun thinking of what I could do to bless him. Even though I did not get the mowing done my husband was blessed, he saw my change in attitude and that I was happier.

It is so easy to look at ourselves but it is so freeing to look out for others. But we need to do this with God's strength if I had done it out of my own strength and had not handed how I was feeling to the Lord and dealt with that, (done the steps that I have just learnt) it would have been so much harder and the mower thing could have been a bigger issue that it was. I have just finished the Way of Agape study and this was the perfect time to put what we learnt into action.

Attitude Check

Do you find that when you are sick and tired, it is a time that other things pop up like attitudes, being short with your Children.

I have been struggling with this the last few days. I have been sick with the flu, had to get my daughter ready for her big ballet concert and still do the day to day things. Well I got home last night and the house was a mess. And attitudes like why is it when I am sick the bottom falls out, why this and why that and woe is me. (all in my head of course) Then trying to catch up on a week worth of house work then the kids play up and give attitude, which they are just probably feeding off me.

So I have been re-challenged on why I do things and the state of my heart. So that things don't fester and attitudes take root. Yes we all get sick and we all have lots on our plate and life happens but what happens when we are not at the top of our game. Does our true nature come out. How do we handle this, do we take it to the Lord or does it fester under the surface and then bang things blow up.

Our Children are always watching us, how we handle things greatly impacts of their lives. They follow our example. I want to use these times to teach my Children how to deal with stress and life God's way, and have him the center of my life. Sure I will make mistakes and blow it but by being honest and open and teaching my Children how to go to God, repent and move on is worth more than giving them the latest toys or gadget. It is giving them life skills that they will take with them.

Christmas Tips and Ideas

Today I hosted Christmas info session designed for mums. Here is some of the things I touched on. If you would like more info on anything please email me or leave a comment.

Topics covered were

How to establish Christmas Traditions in your family

Child proofing Christmas - ideas on how to decorate you home with young children

How to involve Children in Christmas

Christmas on a budget

Gift Ideas

Books and Music Suggestions

Question time

How to establish Christmas Traditions in your family.

Tradition ~ opinion or belief or custom handed down, handing down of these from one generation to another especially orally, artistic, or literary principles.

I would like to encourage you to think about what traditions you would like to pass onto your children and what traditions you have taken from your parents or your husbands parents.

The main tradition I would like to pass onto my Children and what I would love for them to take on when they have children is to celebrate Christmas as Jesus's birthday, as a time of celebration, worship and a time of reflection and a time of family. This is a tradition both my husband and I have taken from our parents we may do things slightly different but the core ideals are there.

In our family we do not have Santa, this is a personal decision and every family needs to decide what they are going to do for themselves.

The main reason why we do not have Santa is that it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Christ. I have told my children from a young age that Santa is a story from Greenland where a man would make gifts for Children in need and give them out on Christmas eve. The story of Santa can be told to Children as an example of someone who gave. Santa was just a man.

Another reason why we don't have Santa is that we like to teach our Children principles of giving and encourage them to give, it is not the gift but the heart behind it that counts. My children do not miss out on the excitement of Christmas day they still wake up early and excited, I did not have Santa and I don't think I missed out on anything if fact I came away with a greater appreciation of Christmas, it is not just another holiday is it a celebration and a time we can use to instill values and teach our Children.

Also I feel Santa adds to the commercialism of Christmas and I don't want my Children caught up in that.

Here are some links to give you a background about Santa.

http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/

http://www.arthuriana.co.uk/xmas/

We have also started a few of our own Christmas traditions like having a special meal on Christmas eve with just my husband, myself and our 3 Children. We always have a healthy breakfast with fresh fruit and set the table nicely.

We have taken a tradition from my husbands family and changed it a bit to suit us. My husband grew up with stockings (I never had this) his mother use to be up to all hours in the morning wrapping gifts for 6 children so she would make a Christmas stocking for each of the children with a box of breakfast cereal, a Popper, something else to eat, and other bits and pieces to keep them amused while she slept in. I have taken this idea minus the breakfast and have made a Christmas bag for each of our children and I fill it up during the year and each of the children get it in the morning it helps keep them busy while we are getting ready for the day as we don't open presents until all the extended family are together. The children know the bag is from us and look forward to jumping in our bed Christmas morning so they can be presented with their Christmas bag.

We have other traditions that will be touched on in the other topics.

Child proofing Christmas - ideas on how to decorate you home with young children

How to involve Children in Christmas

I will do these two topics together as I have found the best way to decorate your home and keep looking good is by involving the children. (my children are now 3, 4 and 6)

If you have really young Children it may pay to put a playpen around the Christmas tree or put it up high.

When we decorate the Christmas tree I explain that this is something that once we have finished decorating it they are not to touch they can look as much as they like but are not to touch. Just to be on the safe side I put all the good decorations up higher.

I have purchased quite a few glass baubles that you can fill yourself. Every year I empty them and the Children fill them up again with pretty things. I also buy paper ones that they decorate.

I also let the Children fill my vases (or pretty bowls etc) with coloured baubles. These 2 examples were done by my 3 year old. This is a cheap decoration idea as you use what ever you already have and can buy cheap baubles from a $2 shop, or use old ones you already have.

My Children and I also make a manger, angles. a stable and a star, we find animals from the farm box and set up a play area on the lamp table. I encourage the children to play out the story of Jesus's birth. This is something that is hands on for them and out during the whole of December. I have found these cute little figurines of Mary, Joseph and the 3 wise men that the children can play with all I need to do now is find shepherds. (I will post of photo of it all set up and instructions when we do it in December)

I put out a selection of Christmas picture books on the coffee table for them to read.

We also make lots of Christmas decorations during December and to add to the tree or house.

Having things for your Children to do and be involved is the key here, Christmas cooking with Children is such fun and a great way to spend time together. I will be posting some good child friendly Christmas cooking ideas soon and some links to alergy free festive cooking.

I have found the Better Homes and Garden mags full of great Christmas ideas without all the gossip and star news. The adds are ok and I can let my children look through the mags without worrying about what they may see.

These are some of the Christmas fake Cupcakes and shortbread I make.

Aren't these Angles lovely my friend Shannon from paint mine pink made them. Shannon has a shop where you can find them she also lists on ebay.

Christmas is a great time to teach your Children about Jesus.

Will be posting more Christmas info over the coming weeks. Have fun with your Children and remember Christmas does not have to be a time of stress.

blog

You may have noticed my blog is looking very bland. Well I tried to put some pretty wall paper on last night and I lost everything except my post:) And the wall paper did not work properly anyway.

Hope to have it all fixed up soon.

True Woman 30 Day Make Over

I have just signed up for the True Woman 30 Day Make Over. I am looking forward to doing this I have heard some great things about it. So here I go today is day 1.



If you want to know what it is all about go here.

Here is a link to their manifesto.

Importance of Fathers

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=yeEwQ7OkVrY

Halloween

This post is a bit of a long one, so grab a tea of coffee:)

This year I have noticed Halloween alot more it seems to becoming more and more common or the norm. There have been more children's programs on television more Halloween things in the stores, last year we even had our house toilet papered. (In Australia Halloween has only been popular about the last 10 years it is growing in popularity every year). I can't remember doing any Halloween craft at school or even talking about it when I was a child.

Also this year my eldest who is 6 has been asking me about Halloween and why don't we celebrate it. A few days ago she came home from school wanting a Halloween party, she had no idea what it was other than lots of lollies and you get to dress up and have scary things around. (She goes to a Christian School, must have picked it up from friends) So this started my research into what is Halloween what is the history behind it so I can give an informed answer to Mikayla. I was always told as a child that Halloween was evil and we don't celebrate it, and back then it was not in your face as much.

As a mother I try and give answers that are as correct as possible I like to know all the facts so I can answer my children as best as possible. This is why I have been researching Halloween I did not know enough about it to answer all of my daughters questions so I asked her if I could have a couple of days to find out more and then we will have a chat about it.
The info I have here is only an outline to give background to Halloween. I have not included everything I read or found out. From what I have read Halloween has strong links to in paganism.
The History of Halloween.

The term Halloween is shortened from All Hallows' Even (both "even" and "eve" are abbreviations of "evening", but "Halloween" gets its "n" from "even") as it is the eve of "All Hallows' Day", which is now also known as All Saints' Day. It was a day of religious festivities in various northern European Pagan traditions, until Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints' Day from May 13 (which had itself been the date of a pagan holiday, the Feast of the Lemures) to November 1. In the ninth century, the Church measured the day as starting at sunset, in accordance with the Florentine calendar. Although All Saints' Day is now considered to occur one day after Halloween, the two holidays were, at that time, celebrated on the same day. Liturgically, the Church traditionally celebrated that day as the Vigil of All Saints, and, until 1970, a day of fasting as well. Like other vigils, it was celebrated on the previous day if it fell on a Sunday, although secular celebrations of the holiday remained on the 31st. The Vigil was suppressed in 1955, but was later restored in the post-Vatican II calendar.

Halloween, or Hallowe’en, is a holiday celebrated on the night of October 31. Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, ghost tours, bonfires, costume parties, visiting "haunted houses", carving Jack-o'-lanterns, reading scary stories and watching horror movies. Irish immigrants carried versions of the tradition to North America in the nineteenth century. Other western countries embraced the holiday in the late twentieth century. Halloween is celebrated in several countries of the Western world, most commonly in the United States, Canada, Ireland, Puerto Rico, Japan, New Zealand, United Kingdom and occasionally in parts of Australia. In Sweden the All Saints' official holiday takes place on the first Saturday of November.

Halloween was perceived as the night during which the division between the world of the living and the otherworld was blurred so spirits of the dead and inhabitants from the underworld were able to walk free on the earth. It was believed necessary to dress as a spirit or otherworldly creature when venturing outdoors to blend in, and this is where dressing in such a manner for Halloween comes from. This gradually evolved into trick-or-treating because children would knock on their neighbours' doors, in order to gather fruit, nuts, and sweets for the Halloween festival. Salt was once sprinkled in the hair of the children to protect against evil spirits.

Human and animal sacrifices were held and other paigan rituals.

I also found this site written by a Christian, it has alot of helpful information about Halloween.

http://www.jeremiahproject.com/culture/halloween.html

Halloween looks like so much fun to children, blind fun while celebrating the very thing we as Christians try and keep away from. It is marketed to Children. More and more children's shows are having Halloween specials (and I am very fussy about what my children watch) just this morning my son was singing a Halloween song that he heard on a kids show while I was having a shower.

My family will not be celebrating Halloween, to us it will be just another day. Now that I understand it more I can give reasons why we do not celebrate Halloween, my answer will not be because empty learnt responses like it is evil or our Church does not agree with it or as a Christian I don't think we celebrate that. My answer will be because it goes against God and everything the bible tells me. It celebrates satan and all that is evil, it invites evil spirits. I do not want any of these things in my house or my life. I have found some bible verses that clearly show us where we should stand on Halloween. As my children get older I will be able to share these verses with them as I explain why we do not celebrate Halloween.

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 ("Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.")
James 1:27 ("keep oneself from being polluted by the world")
3 John 1:11 ("do not imitate what is evil")
Romans 12:9 ("abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.")
Deuteronomy 18:9-14 (do not learn to imitate detestable ways, including spiritists, sorcerers and witchcraft)
Ephesians 5:11-12 ("Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness" / "live as children of light")
1 Timothy 4:1 (don't "follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons")
1 Corinthians 10:21
2 Corinthians 6:14-17 ("what fellowship can light have with darkness?")
Philippians 4:8 (think about pure, lovely, noble things)
1 Corinthians 11:1 ("follow the example of Christ")
1 Corinthians 10:31 ("whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God")
James 4:7-8 (submit yourselves to God / resist the devil / purify your hearts)
Ezekiel 44:23 ("…teach my people… to distinguish between the unclean and the clean.")
Proverbs 22:6 ("train a child in the way he should go")
Matthew 18:6 ("if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin…")
Hosea 4:6 ("My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.")
John 3:19-20 (people love darkness instead of light)
Romans 13:12 ("put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.")
Ephesians 6:11-18 ("take your stand against the devil's schemes.")
1 John 5:19
2 Chronicles 7:14

These two youtube links are interesting especially the second one I would suggest you watch the second link when there are no children around.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=blYGAUTbbFo

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=zQjrsCWhOqY&feature=related

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-M_6K1aj89w

Great blog post

http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/10/23/halloween-for-christians/#comment-19253

1 John 4:7-8 (New King James Version)

7 Beloved, let us love one another,

for love is of God;

and everyone who loves

is born of God and knows God.

8 He who does not love does not know God,

for God is love.

Imagine Me

My friend Martha posted this on facebook it really spoke to me.

by Kirk Franklin

Imagine me…loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I…I imagine me. In a place, of no insecurities and I'm finally happy cause I imagine me. Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me cause they never did deserve me, can you imagine me. Saying no to thoughts that try to control me, remembering all you told me, Lord can you imagine me? Over what my momma said, and healed from what my daddy did and I wanna live and not read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

Imagine me…Being strong and not letting people break me down, you won't get that joy this time around. Can you imagine me? In a world, where nobody has to live afraid, because of your love, fear's gone away, can you imagine me. Letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and my heart will dance cause I don't have to read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

This song is dedicated to people like me, those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self esteem. You never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough, but imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now…

Gone. Gone. It’s Gone. All Gone. Oh It’s All Gone. Every Sin. Every Mistake. Every Failure. Its’ All Gone! Depression. Gone. By Faith. It’s Gone. Low Self Esteem. Hallelujah! It’s Gone. All Gone. It’s Gone. All My Scars. All My Pain. It’s In The Past. Its’ Yesterday. Its’ All Gone. What Your Mother Did. What your Father Did. Hallelujah!

IT’S GONE!

Hurting Children. part 3

This past year I have been so blessed by getting to know so many wonderful children and parents and love how our house is often full of children, some days overflowing lol.

I am more and more aware that everything is a process. God softens our heart, then brings us to a place where we ask the Lord to use us or let us see and then he shows us a situation that has been right under our noses:)

This has just happened to me. Just over a week ago I posted how there are hurting kids in our Church's . In that post I prayed

Father help me to see our Hurting kids
and give me the strength to do something
and to make a difference. Help me to overcome
the fear of man.
Keep me real so I don't miss the signs and my
heart soft so I don't turn a blind eye.

Well the Lord has answered my prayer. (I did not think it would be answered so fast). The Lord spoke to me and showed me that he has given me the gift of relationship with some children and asked me what am I going to do with this gift. I was so challenged and repented for just going on with the flow and not seeing what was really going on. My teacher training was telling me something did not add up but everything from the outside seemed OK. God has since opened my eyes.

Looking back over the last few weeks I can see how all the puzzle pieces have been put into place to bring me to this point where I could give myself over to God ask him to use me in the area of hurting kids and then God show me what he wants me to do. The Lord has also been challenging me on how far I am prepared to go for him. Am I even willing to lay my life down for children that are not my own. He has also shown me that the best way I can love and minister to some mothers is by loving and giving attention to their children. Making sure my motives and all that I do is out of God's love. By letting God's love flow throw me. Without his love it would be impossible to lay my life down daily.

Without him this task would seem so overwhelming and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel but because God is involved I know he has it all worked out and I just have to listen obey and be open.

John 13

34 A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another;

as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another.

Psalm 30

Psalm 30 (New American Standard Bible)

A Psalm; a Song at the Dedication of the House. A Psalm of David.

1 I will extol You, O LORD, for You have lifted me up,
And have not let my enemies rejoice over me.

2 O LORD my God,
I cried to You for help, and You healed me.

3 O LORD, You have brought up my soul from Sheol;
You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit.

4 Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones,
And give thanks to His holy name.

5 For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

6 Now as for me, I said in my prosperity,
"I will never be moved."

7 O LORD, by Your favor You have made my mountain to stand strong;
You hid Your face, I was dismayed.

8 To You, O LORD, I called,
And to the Lord I made supplication:

9 "What profit is there in my blood, if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your faithfulness?

10"Hear, O LORD, and be gracious to me;
O LORD, be my helper."

11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

12 That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

Tagged by Jo-Anne

I've been "stealth" tagged by a "Jo-Anne" it's my turn to tell 6 things about myself and tag 6 other lovely ladies.

So here are the rules...Post rules on your blog, write 6 random things about yourself, tag 6 people and then pass it on for fun...

1. I love Toowoomba and having seasons (summer, Autumn, winter and spring),
2. I grew up near the Beach and miss the beach soooo much,
3. I have a thing for Chocolate.. Himmm did someone say Chocolate,
4. I make fake/faux cakes and love anything craft related,
5. I have 3 gorgeous children,
6. The only thing that really makes me cringe is eye ball injuries, eating them (can't do the fish eye thing anymore I was made to eat them as a child) or seeing them being eaten or thinking about eating eye balls.

Now it is my turn to tag some other ladies as I know a lot of ladies who have already done this I will just tag 2. If you have not done this and want to, I tag you:)

I tag
Merrin and
Martha

More on some of our Christian Kids are hurting

Further to the post I just wrote I had the idea that I would give a brief view of how I felt when I was a teenager. Sometimes hearing how people feel opens out eyes.

After that week I felt let down by everyone, I felt that I had no value because no once seemed to care. I put up lots of walls and kept on going as long as I was seen as having it all together everything seemed to be ok. I was involved in a lot of leadership over the years but had all this hurt in my heart. I suppose I stated to do "works" to find my value.

I felt judged and that my mums breakdown was my fault, not one told me different so I carried this until I was 19.

Because I felt so bad about myself I started to hate myself I use to cover my mirror up with photos so I could not see myself, I tried so hard to fit in but because I felt so unworthy I felt clumsy and useless.

My school work suffered because I was afraid of failing and I knew I could pass without studding, if I studied and failed that would have destroyed me so I did not study much at all. (pretty silly hey if I knew I could pass without failing, then it would makes sence that studding could help me more) but when you are in that place you do things that are not logical.

Because I thought the people in Church did not care I did not know how to take complements or anything positive said about me I did not know what to do and thought they were just being nice.

I had lots of non Christian friends but found it hard to build relationships with Christians.

Now this is how I reacted different people react in different ways some rebel and some hide like I did. That is why it can be so hard sometimes to know if people are hurting when they are hiders. It does not matter who they are wether the come from a single parent family, a family where the parents are leaders, pastors kids, teachers kids, doctors kids. The fact is life happens and God can use it for good or the enemy can use it.

I don't want anyone else to feel how I did and for as long as I did. I don't know what the answer is other than to look out around you and pray and get help for our young people. To be real and not be afraid to put our arms around someone and say are you ok. If they are ok that's great at least they know they matter.

I can share this now because I know my value is in the Lord because he made me, I can use this experience for him. I have come a long way since those days and have worked through much of this. I just want people to be aware that Christian Kids can be hurting just as much as the next kid and we also need to look around our Church community as well as the whole community.

I am in a Church now that is loving and accepting and reaches out to its young but there maybe some that fall through through cracksI realise I need to be part of the solution for our young people.

Christian Kids are hurting in out Churchs. (part 1)

Before reading this blog I would like to let you know that I have not written this to condemn anyone or the Church. I write this not out of bitterness or hurt. I am writing this out of the heaviness of my heart and I for one want to change and be aware of others.

I am going to be sharing something that I have not spoken much about, something that is really hard to talk about, I am not doing this to hurt anyone but to help people.

I have just been speaking to a childhood friend who has shared the hurts and struggles she faced in her teenage years due to family breakdown. It broke my heart to hear some of what she went through and what she carried alone. This girl and her family had been involved in a Church all of her life. It struck me that no one stepped in and helped her and her family. She is not the only one, over the years I have been told stories of hurt and abandonment carried by Children and teenagers.

I also went through this as a teenager. When I was 13 my mother had a breakdown, my father was away for work for a week and I did not know how to get hold of him. A lady from the Church we were involved with came and visited us and saw what was happening and then left, no one called to see if I was ok, everyone in the Church talked about it in secret. No one ever spoke to me about it and it was pushed aside. But I was treated differently after that. My parents were very active in the Church and I know everyone knew what happened and that I was alone.

The things that happened that week should never have had to be carried by a 13 year old alone. I was at home for 1 week with a lady who did not know who I was. A lot of things happened that week which will not benefit anyone by me giving all the details.

The outcome of that week was good , the Lord used the breakdown as testimony of his healing power and his unconditional love. Since that incident mother has been healed of mental illness and my parents became pastors soon after the healing.

I am coming across more and more of these stories and seeing lives off track and wrong choices taken because no one was there. There are so many young people and young adults walking around feeling abandoned and unloved who have been raised in the Church.

I know that there is no such thing as a perfect Church, if there was such a thing there would be no people in it. I believed people want to the part of the solution, and a lot of people probably don't see that our Christian kids are hurting. Fear has a lot to do with this not wanting to stick our noses into someone else's business. Often we put so much effort into the "unsaved", street kids that we don't look around us, to the kids in our own Church. Don't get me wrong I think out reach is needed and am all for it. But the kids in our Church matter just as much.

This post is to bring the fact to our awareness that there are christian kids hurting out there. If we know that there are things going on in a family or a child's life we need to speak up. If we don't know what to do go to the pastors or leaders and get help and pray for them. Please get help and pray for these kids. It can be so easy to get caught up in our lives and not see, I have been praying that God will open my eyes to hurting kids. The enemy wants our Kids we need to stand in the gap for them and help them.

I look at all the wasted years of my life that I struggled with what I went through and it would have been so easy for me to go the wrong way. A lot of years I was of no use to God because of all the hurts I carried that I was blinded to others hurting around me I was so scared that I lost some of my compassion for people, I was just warming a seat in Church and going through the motions.

Father help me to see our Hurting kids

and give me the strength to do something

and to make a difference. Help me to overcome

the fear of man.

Keep me real so I don't miss the signs and my

heart soft so I don't turn a blind eye.

Titus 2 v 3 -5

I have been thinking on the scriptures Titus 2 v 3-5.

The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour

as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to

much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to

love their husbands, to love their children,

[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to

their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

In today's society where so many wrong messages are sent out to our women we need the older women to take a stand and be role models, build relationships and speak truth. Likewise younger women need to humble ourselves and listen.

I would like to encourage all you mature women to put your hand up and reach out to the younger generation. Don't let the enemy talk you into believing that you have nothing to give. If you walk with the Lord and want to be used by him, have experienced heartaches, struggles and victories, sorrow, joy and his love then you have all you need. Just open your heart and share.

By mature women I am meaning any of you who have older teenage children to adult children you don't have to be a grandmother sitting in a rocking chair:). If you have not had children that does not discount you, you have much to offer.

Allot of the younger generation are getting their life advise from daytime talk shows, which are filling women's heads with new age, humanism and popular culture views.

Young mums or young marrieds or younger singles make yourself available, the older generation have so much to give if given the chance.

I look forward to developing relationships with older women of God. I know this is not an easy thing to do, to find another woman who you can build relationship with and it does take time but I am sure the benefits outweigh the time it takes. Being an only child I am use to being by myself and can go for days without talking to other women and can so easily get caught up in my little projects and little world of husband and Children. This is something that I have to be aware of.

Our Church has started a Grandads ministry for men it is such a great idea where a group of "Grandfathers" in our church have offered their time to younger men to pray with them, befriend them or just be an ear. I would love to see something like this for the women as well. Just think of what would happen if every church offered this with strong Christian role models. Maybe marriages would benefit, divorce would be lowered, family relationships strengthened and peoples personal relationship with the Lord strengthened.

Okay girls it is time to turn off the daytime talk shows and go and build a relationship with someone.

Back again:) Did you miss me?

It has been a while since I last posted anything. Life has been busy and we have had sickness and I have been spending time with the Lord and thinking about where I am at and where I should be and where I should be going.

I feel I am at cross roads not sure if I am being effective for the Lord, I am questioning what I am doing. After investing a lot of time into something only to now see it now change a lot and things I was working towards implementing are now being thrown out. Don't get me wrong there have been a lot of good changes but it has now changed so much that the avenue to support them and equip mums has closed.

Another door has opened and I need to spend some time to pray and be lead by the Lord, get focus and a plan in place to make this effective and meaningful. I don't want it to turn into another bless me club, my passion is to see mums set free from the worlds and churches view of what mothers should be and learn what the bible really said on motherhood. Seeing mums set free to be mums is my passion, I am tired of trying to be a supermum and do everything I am told I need to do to be a good mum. It breaks my heart when young mums tell me they aren't coping that they can't do everything and are so overwhelmed by the pressure they feel to do everything. We get so tied up doing that we miss out on so much and I myself fall into this trap so often. So that is where I have been for the last few weeks. I plan to keep blogging and will be adding some posts I have been working on soon.

I have also been thinking of why I blog. It is easy to blog and share things with people who do not know you. I have been thinking am I as open and share my heart to people face to face. Well the answer is not really. Building relationships with people who you see and who know you is not easy, it is much easier to be open and honest with people you don't know all that well. This is another reason why I have not blogged for a few weeks. Something I will be thinking some more on. The whole though of putting my trust in the Lord and having him as my true and first confidant.

A verse I have been reflecting on.

O Lord you have searched me and you know me

You know when I sit and when I rise

you perceive my thoughts from afar

You discern my going out and my laying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast

Psalm 139:1-12

Mums I need your help

I wrote earlier about my passion for mums and the messages society is telling us. (Click here to read that post). I am curious if any of you out there feel this and do you think there is enough support from the Church and from other christian ladies for mums?

The last church I was in I felt very isolated, there was no support in place. I had just had my first child and would go from Sunday to Sunday and not see anyone, I was not the only new mum who felt this isolation. We had home group every 2nd week and that was it. I now am really aware of this and want to reach out to mums and support them even if I am just an ear to hear about their day or what their little one did.

I would like to hear from mums and learn what you need or would like to know about. Why type of support did you get and was it helpful. Would a course or a book before you had you babies have helped where you could learn things like time management, how to maintain a relationship with the Lord once you have children, how to spend quality time with your husband once the baby/s arrive.

My heart is to hear and learn from you, what I might think is useful or needed maybe not what someone else needs.

You can leave a message on my blog or email me at glenbekkayla@hotmail.com

Once I have enough answers I summarise the responses and post them.

Thankyou
Bek

Bible Study

I have moved all my bible studies to another blog address.

Internet cafe give away

The internet cafe is having a give away click here to sign up. Hurry it ends in 24 hours.

Look at all thoes goodies:) The "Time with the Lord" basket.

Deena's blog and amazing cancer testimony

I have been reading Deena's blog for 6mths now about her battle with cancer. (started out with breast cancer. Diagnosed on 10/28/2007, at first stage 3C, Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, with 29 lymph cancerous & HER2Neu a 3+ , and as of 1/25/08, the PET/CT scan showed it's even in her bones, ribs, adrenals & I am in Stage 4) She is an amazing woman who has chosen to share her life and battle with us. She has had so many pray with her over the past year. Just reading her comments and seeing how many people she has touched and shared with is amazing.

I just read some great news that there is barley a trace of cancer left. God is so amazing and her testimony is one I wanted to share with you all.

http://deenasstory.blogspot.com/

Weight

Where to begin. I have all these thoughts going around and around in my head.

On Sunday 22 June 2008 after the worship part of the service I really felt God speak to me, it is hard to explain but just before our Pastor Adam Grant spoke I felt the Lord say 2 things one was to listen to the word he gave Adam and the other thing he told me was the reason why I have had trouble loosing weight is because I have never asked him to help. It came out of no where I was not even thinking of my battle with the flab. I told my husband and he looked at me and said well ask him. Boy do I feel silly how I overlooked something so simple.

When I thought about what God said I realised how true it was I ask him for help in other areas but not with this area. To give you some background I have been battling with this for years now and have tried every diet and pill. The only time I was thinnish was when I was working out 3 hours a day and ate about 6gms of fat total. My diet was this Breakfast 1/2 grapefruit lunch 2 lettus leaves and 1/4 tomato and 1/4 tin of re fried beans 99% fat free, Dinner 1/6 grilled Chicken breast on 2 lettus leaves then heaps of vitamin pills and a weight loss pill. Even while doing this I still could not reach the weight my instructor told me I was suppose to be I never to to that magic 54kgs I was aiming for. I was borderline eating disorder and would throw up anything that was fattening or what I considered bad food. I battled with this for 2 years, it was mainly because I hated myself so much and it was a way of punishing myself for being fat and such a failure. Then along came this guy (who later became my husband) and taught me that I was ok just the way I was.

Since I have had the children I have not lost the baby weight and have tried so many things but nothing works. I remember going to weight watchers with a friend and she was loosing weight every week and was not even following the diet properly. I was doing it by the book measuring and weighing all food eating exactly what they told me and nothing happened after 6 months of this I gave up. The ladies at Weight Watches said I must be cheating and doing something wrong etc... I have tried so many other things but they don't work so I figured if I do nothing I don't put on weight if I diet I don't loose weight so I may as well give in. I also have to be careful as I can get a tad bit carried away when dieting and start recording everything I put in my mouth. I could easily go into bad eating habits again as I have never had trouble with feeling hungry I can go all day and not eat an it does not bother me. All the dieting I have been doing was in my own strength and own knowledge and it has not worked.

I really felt God say that I have to hand it over to him, it is an area I have held onto and hid behind. No one really wants to know the fat girl so I can hide what is inside and put on a happy face and everyone thinks all is ok. I know that this is going to be a hard battle and that I will have to deal with things in my heart that I have been hiding and putting in little boxes. This last few months has brought me to the place where I can hand this issue over to God and now let him help. I pray that through this I can help others and by sharing this it will enable others to be set free.

I understand that I will have to work hard, I know I won't wake up in the morning and be thin (gee that would be nice). I am not expecting to loose lots fast I would be happy to loose 1kg a month as this in itself would be a breakthrough and a miracle for me. But by giving it to God I can now deal with issues and see God glorified in this.

I am also sharing this so I am accountable, usually when I diet I don't tell anyone there is nothing worse than a well meaning friend say gee you have lost weight when they know you are dieting but you have not lost any and it is hard to tell them that you have not lost any, then the feelings of failure take over etc..... But I need to be accountable to God and act upon what he has told me. I will probable go thought this post later and re-read it and make it a bit more organised. I am not going to post weights and photos at this stage, maybe a bit down the track.

Father God I hand this area over to you and ask that you guide me and lead me to the areas that I need to deal with, I give this to you and all the areas I have be holding onto and hiding behind. I make myself available to you to use me that you may be glorified.

Morning Madness

Do you and your family suffer from morning madness where it is so busy, everyone especially mum is rushing about. You are trying to get all the children fed and dressed for the day, making sure lunches are packed and that the children have matching socks on. (we have school uniforms here and my daughter goes to a private school so she has a dress code, matching blue socks and blue hair ties and her hair has to be up) Are you wanting more time to spend with your children in the morning. That is what my mornings were starting to become like. I did not want my daughter going to school rushed and flustered. I wanted us to have a calm morning where we leave each other in a happy frame of mind. Below I have written about what I did to try and change our mornings. Don't get me wrong we still have days when everything does not run smoothly, things happen, especially when you throw a 2 year old into the mix. But on a whole life is much nicer in the mornings at my house.

This year my eldest child started school. That was such a big change in our household especially in the mornings. I was finding that mornings were starting to get stressful. Having to get everyone ready in time for the school run was a challenge. You see my husband is a swimming coach and leaves home about 5 in the morning, I also have a 2 year old and a 3 year old. As you can imagine it can be a tad bit busy in the morning getting everyone ready in time.

So after lost of thinking and brain storming I thought I would try to set the breakfast table at night after dinner. I made it my daughters job, after I have cleaned up the table after dinner she is to set it for the next day. (She only has to do this Sunday through to Thursday night on weekends we don't have the same time restraints). I went looking to see what I could use to make the job easier for her and so she can do it without much assistance, she is nearly 6. I found on my bench a tray that I used for tea and coffee so I cleaned it up and put all the spreads in it and put it in the cupboard, then I went onto some auction sites looking for a cute cutlery holder and purchased one. At night she gets the bowls, plates and glasses out. Puts spoons and knives in the cutlery holder and puts out the spread tray. When she gets up in the morning she puts all the fridge spreads out like butter. (I picked up a nice ceramic butter dish, that way I can use the butter in the kitchen if needed and still know there is some on the table.)

This is what the table looks like at when she sets it at night. I picked up these little mugs for the Children last week, with winter here now I am finding they want hot milo's in the morning. In spring and summer they have glasses out for juice.

The little tray that has the spreads in it. I am thinking of painting it white to match the holder.

And my butter dish I just love this, I top it up every week.

Now in the mornings breakfast is allot quicker, and I am finding I am getting to sit down and have breakfast. Before I would not get to have breakfast at all.

Another thing I do is if I am planning to have porridge the next morning I put the oats, milk and water in the saucepan the night before and pop it in the fridge. (I use a ceramic saucepan for this) So in the morning all I have to do is pop it on the stove and stir as I am finishing making the lunches. Not only does this make the porridge creamy it also cooks faster as the oats have soaked all night.

I also purchased a cute ice cream timer for her at Christmas as she takes ages to eat her breakfast. I have made sure uniforms are always ready to go the night before, that clean socks are also in her shoes and her bag is packed with what she needs the next day for example library bag on Tuesdays.

Mornings are allot less stressful now and some mornings we even have enough time to do a devotion reading before school, this is something that I want to be able to do most mornings. It will take time to get it all organised and I am sure that once the second child starts school I will have to make some changes.

I hope you find this useful and remember that what works in one household may not work in another. The key is to take an idea and adapt it to suit you and your family's needs.

Yep God sure does speak through emails

I opened another email this morning and the word was perfect for today. I am having a meeting to work out some internal issues with a group. I won't go into details but I am praying that all will be resolved and relationships restored, and through this we can see God's hand at work. Anyway here is the email, I think it is just a good reminder not to do things in our own strength but give it all to God and let him work. He knows what the answers are and what is needed.

Are You Horizontal or Vertical?

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2,

by Os Hillman06-16-2008

"Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight" (Isaiah 5:21).
Many of us have been trained to make decisions and respond to problems in a horizontal way instead of vertical. Operating from a horizontal basis means we try to fix the problem through our own self-efforts by bringing greater pressure upon it through our reasoning or our natural skills. Operating from a vertical position means we are seeking God for the answer and waiting for him to impact the problem. Perhaps it is a spouse who fails to put their clothes away, or a boss who is overly critical, or an employee that you clash with. When we operate horizontally we attempt to shame or coerce the other to change their ways.
God knows the solution to the problem before it ever exists. Our responsibility is to ask God for help to solve the problem and to rely on Him for the outcome. The minute we take on the responsibility, God quietly stands by to let us experience failure until we decide to seek Him for the answer.
One of the best examples of the contrast between a vertical and horizontal dimension in scripture is that of King Saul and David (see 1 Samuel 25). King Saul thought the way to preserve his kingdom was to kill David. While in pursuit of him there were several occasions when David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but David chose to wait upon God's timing and await his own deliverance because he understood authority. David had such respect for those who had been put in authority by God over him that he would not take matters into his own hands.
Saul represents the exact opposite of this principle. He thought David was the problem and sought to get rid of him through force. As a result, he lost his kingdom because he chose to rule horizontally instead of vertically under God's rule in his life.
No matter what problem you face today, stay vertical with God.

Two days in a row God has used these emails and lead me to read them as I usually only check the email account they go to a couple of times a week and don't always get to reading these emails. Maybe I need to read them daily. :)

God challanges through emails

Today I read an email I had been sent don't know why I clicked on it. I usually just save them for when I have time to read them.

Here is the message

Today's Prayer

Resurrected Faith

Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman06-15-2008
"Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son" (Gen 22:10).
There are times in our lives when God brings a test to see if we are ready to put to death the very thing that God promised we would have. Such was the case in the life of Abraham with Isaac. Isaac was the promised son. Yet, God said to raise the knife to sacrifice him in obedience God.
When God brings such a test into our lives we usually have a choice. Neither choice is attractive. One choice will often salvage some aspect of the vision. The other choice will totally kill the vision from our perspective. However, that is the faith decision. That is the only decision from God's perspective.
If we choose the faith decision that kills the vision - we will witness the resurrection of the vision supernaturally by God. Our own faith will be launched into a whole new dimension. He will raise us up in order to speak through our lives in that experience. God often brings that person into a very public ministry.
However, if we choose the lesser decision, we will reside in a lesser walk with God. God will accept the decision but there will be consequences to our faith journey. He cannot trust us with a bigger vision because He sees our obedience is moveable based on our perceived consequences.
If we choose the lesser decision then God will often orchestrate other events in our lives that are designed to develop our faith to a level that will allow us to make the right decision the next time.
Do you have resurrection faith that will trust God to raise your situation from the dead?

Well what a word, at the moment I am going through this seeing if the vision I carry fits into where I am at the moment am I effective where I am, am I where God wants me. At the moment I feel like I am being tested again regarding the area I am invloved in within the church.

I pray that I make the right decision and that his will, will be done and fulfilled.

My passion is for mums

I have been pondering the vision I feel and thought it may pay to write it down.
I have a real passion for mums.
In today's society we are sent so many messages about how we should be mums/wives/homemakers. We are told how our house should look, how we should dress and conduct our selves. We are told we can have it all the top job, the family the nice home. But how are the mums really coping. I have been finding that mums are struggling they are trying to be "super mums". I use to really struggle and prob still do a bit on how I am as a mother do I do everything I am suppose to. Is my house shiny clean all the time. (no) My husband said to me once when I was complaining on what a failure I was and look how so and so has it all together. He wisely pointed out that the other ladies probably also run around the house like a mad thing cleaning up before I come around.

With our society changing and people moving further and further away from their family and support networks more and more mums are being isolated.

My passion is to support mums by providing friendship, information, resources, contacts and support to help enable them to be the best mums they can be. I want to see mums grow in their walk with the lord, I want to see mums come to know Jesus. I want to see the "super mums" walls broken down so mums can enjoy being mums and enjoy their children. This means that I have to be open and honest and share my struggles and failings. What will our children remember about us will they remember the house always being clean and mum always busy or will they remember that mum sat and listened to me and spent time with me.
Don't get me wrong I don't think we should be slobs and let everything be. Yes we need to be organised and we need to do our housework but we need balance.

I remember after having my third child a lovely lady shared a story with me that really helped me through the year. To give you some background I have 3 Children the eldest is about to turn 6 and the other two are 13mths apart. So I had just had the latest baby and she was a difficult baby, reflux, club feet etc... (I had not told anyone how tough this baby was) This dear lady took me aside one day and shared a story about her 2 children she had 2 about 15mths apart. She told me how one day they had been so clingy and whiny they were hanging off her following her, you get the picture. Sometime in the day she really had to go to the toilet but the children were being so difficult that she just slid down the kitchen cupboards and sat on the floor wet herself and cried. That story really carried me through every day until my youngest was about 14mths at the end of the day I was so exhausted I would think I did not wet myself today it was not so bad. Now this lady was someone who I looked up (and still do) to she always is well dressed and looks like she has it all together and that her life was perfect and she never would wet herself and cry.

I will be thinking more on this and adding more information and tools and insights.

Worth Remembering

"Until you settle the issue of your own worth, it's impossible to bring holiness into anyone else's life. Until you understand that your worth is already determined by the fact of your birth, everything else is an exercise in propping up a dying tree." Carol Brazo

Read this today and thought it was worth thinking about and seeing were our worth is placed. Do we hear God's voice about our worth or are we listening to the worlds voice. I know myself it is easy to hear the worlds voice because is it loud and constant. We are constantly being measured by how we act, what we wear, what we do, what our job is, who our friends are, who our family is, how much money we have what our education level is and the list goes on and on.

We need to take time a listen to the soft gentle voice of God saying we have worth and value because he made us and loves us and has a plan for each and every one of us.

Oprah

I saw this today it was very interesting and so sad that Oprah is so lost and confused.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NizojZIX7Aw

This is something worth looking into to see if it holds water.

You Say God says Bible Verses

Saw this today and thought it was great. Enjoy

YOU SAY GOD SAYS BIBLE VERSES

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible(Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things(Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs(Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you(Hebrews 13:5)

God is amazing

Earlier I posted about a situation where a close friend had been hurt and had cut me out of her life. It was a hard time as I don't like to not be liked. Everyday I had to choose to love her and not hold any grudges it was so hard some days. But I did in faith and prayed for her, never talked to any of the other ladies in the group about what she had done. Never said a bad word against her. Would not allow "justified hurts" as Nancy Missler puts it to take hold of me. (Nancy wrote the study "The way of Agape" which I am doing at the moment with a group of ladies)

Anyway after a few months she came back to playgroup and was so hurt. I kept praying for her and really felt God telling me to email her and welcome her back. I rang one of the pastors wives who also is my friend and ran it by her. So I emailed her and welcomed her back and told her how I loved her and how my heart broke thinking of her etc.... Well after 3 weeks of hearing nothing she came to playgroup said sorry hugged me and was so changed. God's timing is so different to ours. I think it is amazing that as I am doing this study I am also going through what the study is about. Maybe God is trying to teach me something lol:)

It will take a long time to build our relationship back, but we have reconciled so now God can work. I have also learnt a valuable lesson about not confusing the people who you minister to as your only confidants, I will now make sure I have relationships outside my ministry circle if that makes sense.

Now onto the Way of Agape if you have not done this study you, it is one worth doing. I am up to chapter 6 and it is great. Nancy teaches us about God's love and has such insights into it. I am seeing how shallow I am and what I thought I was doing out of Gods love I was doing out of human love. Hummm imagine how affective it would be out of God's love.

Update

It has been ages since I have posted or done anything with the online study, we have had a very hectic and sad Easter. During the Easter long weekend my sister in laws sister and 3 children were in a terrible car accident. Two of the children died (1 and 6 Year old) and the mother and 4 year old very badly injured. Looking back I can see the hand of God, even thought it has been a hard time he has been there. There are some great testimony's that have come out if it and I will post them soon. This is just an update post.

Lazy bum in my head

Yesterday I took a day off from the world, did not book anything in, did not go to the bible study I usually go to, did not ring anybody and I did not answer the phone (well no one rang which is really strange) maybe God knew I would not have the strength not to answer the phone and intervened. lol

After the last few challenging weeks it was so nice to take a day out. I went to spotlight with my youngest 2. We got some Easter things to make for Easter, then we went to the park for morning tea. As it turned out 2 ladies for playgroup were there so I did have some social chat with them. I did not do any house work, (and the world kept turning) which is really hard for me and the house was a mess. God has been challenging me to slow down a bit and listen to him and stop doing all the time. Funny thing is that is what the speaker spoke about on Thursday ladies night as well as raising children. I really struggle with being lazy my father use to say it to me a lot when I was a child and he never stopped working or doing things for the Church when I was a kid. I don't think he fully understands how it has impacted me. When he came to visit over Christmas he told me to slow down and not make his mistakes. He has overdone it and now has to rest. But how do you undo 30ish years of this??????? But I was not quite ready to hear that then.

Whenever I sit down I feel like I am lazy, I usually am doing something else if I am watch TV or talking on the phone. It drives my husband nuts that I can't sit still. I do really try but have a battle going on in my head the whole time. I do confess that I am alot better than I use to be, maybe some of my husbands laid back nature has rubbed off on me. Mess and clutter does not bother him, if I let it build up I get a little stressed.

A few weeks ago I finally worked out why I don't eat breakfast and lunch it is all tied up with this whole lazy issue. I feel that I am lazy if I set down to eat and I don't deserve to. It is funny I council mums all the time to take time out and smell the roses, eat properly etc... and yet I don't live my own words. That really has hit home lately. Our minds can be such strongholds, but through the grace of God we can overcome. The sad thing is we miss out on so many good things if we don't deal with these things.

I will keep posting about how the Lord walks me through this.

Introduction

I have decided to start a new blog a new start. I am really excited about doing this and am looking forward to making friends as I learn and grow. To get the ball rolling I am going to be doing a bible study by The preachers wife : 'I AM - So You Don't Have To Be' A Blog Bible Study.

The past few weeks have been both, hard and a time of spiritual stirring and a hunger to get to know God better in a new and deeper way, so here I am at the beginning of a new journey.

I have been tested and realised that I have a lot of head knowledge of the things of God (being a 3rd generation PK) and that I have to discover some of it for myself. I have also been reminded that we can do nothing in our own strength and we need to hand everything over, it is by his grace.