Way of Agape situation:)

This weekend I was having a bit of a pity party in my head. I had not told anyone how I was feeling and pushed it down deep, I still was doing all that I had to, but was just doing the motions I had lost my spark.

You see my husband has been working long hours and long weeks and I can't remember the last time my husband had a day off. So after a long and hard week with the children I was looking at me and how hard it had been. I was being sooo selfish. Then on the Saturday my husband came home 2 hours later than he should have and I was not upset just feeling neglected.

He started sharing what was going on at work and how tired he was and later he saw something else that needed doing at home and made the comment that he would add it to the ever growing list. Then the penny dropped and I started looking at him and seeing how tired he was and that he had more to deal with than I. He is working long hours (5am to 8:30pm most days) dealing with parent/children issues, has assignments due plus his other usual work duties. Once I changed my attitude and took it to God, I felt a huge weigh being lifted.

I then decided that the next day I would bless him my plan was to clean the house, cook him a nice meal and start doing some of his jobs. The first job I though I would do was to mow the lawn. So the next day I got up early and cleaned the house, set the table for dinner with extra care, put candles out and used the best table cloth. Then at 3pm I decided I would go and start the mowing. I got the mower out and it would not start, then I checked the fuel and found that the little boy I look after had filled the mower up with leaves and sticks again. I was so disappointed that I sat in the back yard and cried. Not long after my husband rang and said they had finished early and he was heading home. (the mower is now fixed and I plan to mow tomorrow). I did however go and make him one of his fav desserts instead of mowing.

The point of this story is to share with you that yes at times life can get us down, and it only takes one thought to start a pity party. I was so busy feeling miserable and looking at me that I could not see my husband and what he was going through. Once I did and took it to the Lord and dealt with my attitude and started putting my husband first. I felt sooo free, no longer was it all to hard, I was having fun thinking of what I could do to bless him. Even though I did not get the mowing done my husband was blessed, he saw my change in attitude and that I was happier.

It is so easy to look at ourselves but it is so freeing to look out for others. But we need to do this with God's strength if I had done it out of my own strength and had not handed how I was feeling to the Lord and dealt with that, (done the steps that I have just learnt) it would have been so much harder and the mower thing could have been a bigger issue that it was. I have just finished the Way of Agape study and this was the perfect time to put what we learnt into action.

Update

It has been ages since I have posted or done anything with the online study, we have had a very hectic and sad Easter. During the Easter long weekend my sister in laws sister and 3 children were in a terrible car accident. Two of the children died (1 and 6 Year old) and the mother and 4 year old very badly injured. Looking back I can see the hand of God, even thought it has been a hard time he has been there. There are some great testimony's that have come out if it and I will post them soon. This is just an update post.