I feel I am at cross roads not sure if I am being effective for the Lord, I am questioning what I am doing. After investing a lot of time into something only to now see it now change a lot and things I was working towards implementing are now being thrown out. Don't get me wrong there have been a lot of good changes but it has now changed so much that the avenue to support them and equip mums has closed.
Another door has opened and I need to spend some time to pray and be lead by the Lord, get focus and a plan in place to make this effective and meaningful. I don't want it to turn into another bless me club, my passion is to see mums set free from the worlds and churches view of what mothers should be and learn what the bible really said on motherhood. Seeing mums set free to be mums is my passion, I am tired of trying to be a supermum and do everything I am told I need to do to be a good mum. It breaks my heart when young mums tell me they aren't coping that they can't do everything and are so overwhelmed by the pressure they feel to do everything. We get so tied up doing that we miss out on so much and I myself fall into this trap so often. So that is where I have been for the last few weeks. I plan to keep blogging and will be adding some posts I have been working on soon.
I have also been thinking of why I blog. It is easy to blog and share things with people who do not know you. I have been thinking am I as open and share my heart to people face to face. Well the answer is not really. Building relationships with people who you see and who know you is not easy, it is much easier to be open and honest with people you don't know all that well. This is another reason why I have not blogged for a few weeks. Something I will be thinking some more on. The whole though of putting my trust in the Lord and having him as my true and first confidant.
A verse I have been reflecting on.
O Lord you have searched me and you know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
you perceive my thoughts from afar
You discern my going out and my laying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast
Psalm 139:1-12
