Way of Agape situation:)

This weekend I was having a bit of a pity party in my head. I had not told anyone how I was feeling and pushed it down deep, I still was doing all that I had to, but was just doing the motions I had lost my spark.

You see my husband has been working long hours and long weeks and I can't remember the last time my husband had a day off. So after a long and hard week with the children I was looking at me and how hard it had been. I was being sooo selfish. Then on the Saturday my husband came home 2 hours later than he should have and I was not upset just feeling neglected.

He started sharing what was going on at work and how tired he was and later he saw something else that needed doing at home and made the comment that he would add it to the ever growing list. Then the penny dropped and I started looking at him and seeing how tired he was and that he had more to deal with than I. He is working long hours (5am to 8:30pm most days) dealing with parent/children issues, has assignments due plus his other usual work duties. Once I changed my attitude and took it to God, I felt a huge weigh being lifted.

I then decided that the next day I would bless him my plan was to clean the house, cook him a nice meal and start doing some of his jobs. The first job I though I would do was to mow the lawn. So the next day I got up early and cleaned the house, set the table for dinner with extra care, put candles out and used the best table cloth. Then at 3pm I decided I would go and start the mowing. I got the mower out and it would not start, then I checked the fuel and found that the little boy I look after had filled the mower up with leaves and sticks again. I was so disappointed that I sat in the back yard and cried. Not long after my husband rang and said they had finished early and he was heading home. (the mower is now fixed and I plan to mow tomorrow). I did however go and make him one of his fav desserts instead of mowing.

The point of this story is to share with you that yes at times life can get us down, and it only takes one thought to start a pity party. I was so busy feeling miserable and looking at me that I could not see my husband and what he was going through. Once I did and took it to the Lord and dealt with my attitude and started putting my husband first. I felt sooo free, no longer was it all to hard, I was having fun thinking of what I could do to bless him. Even though I did not get the mowing done my husband was blessed, he saw my change in attitude and that I was happier.

It is so easy to look at ourselves but it is so freeing to look out for others. But we need to do this with God's strength if I had done it out of my own strength and had not handed how I was feeling to the Lord and dealt with that, (done the steps that I have just learnt) it would have been so much harder and the mower thing could have been a bigger issue that it was. I have just finished the Way of Agape study and this was the perfect time to put what we learnt into action.

Attitude Check

Do you find that when you are sick and tired, it is a time that other things pop up like attitudes, being short with your Children.

I have been struggling with this the last few days. I have been sick with the flu, had to get my daughter ready for her big ballet concert and still do the day to day things. Well I got home last night and the house was a mess. And attitudes like why is it when I am sick the bottom falls out, why this and why that and woe is me. (all in my head of course) Then trying to catch up on a week worth of house work then the kids play up and give attitude, which they are just probably feeding off me.

So I have been re-challenged on why I do things and the state of my heart. So that things don't fester and attitudes take root. Yes we all get sick and we all have lots on our plate and life happens but what happens when we are not at the top of our game. Does our true nature come out. How do we handle this, do we take it to the Lord or does it fester under the surface and then bang things blow up.

Our Children are always watching us, how we handle things greatly impacts of their lives. They follow our example. I want to use these times to teach my Children how to deal with stress and life God's way, and have him the center of my life. Sure I will make mistakes and blow it but by being honest and open and teaching my Children how to go to God, repent and move on is worth more than giving them the latest toys or gadget. It is giving them life skills that they will take with them.

Christmas Tips and Ideas

Today I hosted Christmas info session designed for mums. Here is some of the things I touched on. If you would like more info on anything please email me or leave a comment.

Topics covered were

How to establish Christmas Traditions in your family

Child proofing Christmas - ideas on how to decorate you home with young children

How to involve Children in Christmas

Christmas on a budget

Gift Ideas

Books and Music Suggestions

Question time

How to establish Christmas Traditions in your family.

Tradition ~ opinion or belief or custom handed down, handing down of these from one generation to another especially orally, artistic, or literary principles.

I would like to encourage you to think about what traditions you would like to pass onto your children and what traditions you have taken from your parents or your husbands parents.

The main tradition I would like to pass onto my Children and what I would love for them to take on when they have children is to celebrate Christmas as Jesus's birthday, as a time of celebration, worship and a time of reflection and a time of family. This is a tradition both my husband and I have taken from our parents we may do things slightly different but the core ideals are there.

In our family we do not have Santa, this is a personal decision and every family needs to decide what they are going to do for themselves.

The main reason why we do not have Santa is that it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Christ. I have told my children from a young age that Santa is a story from Greenland where a man would make gifts for Children in need and give them out on Christmas eve. The story of Santa can be told to Children as an example of someone who gave. Santa was just a man.

Another reason why we don't have Santa is that we like to teach our Children principles of giving and encourage them to give, it is not the gift but the heart behind it that counts. My children do not miss out on the excitement of Christmas day they still wake up early and excited, I did not have Santa and I don't think I missed out on anything if fact I came away with a greater appreciation of Christmas, it is not just another holiday is it a celebration and a time we can use to instill values and teach our Children.

Also I feel Santa adds to the commercialism of Christmas and I don't want my Children caught up in that.

Here are some links to give you a background about Santa.

http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/

http://www.arthuriana.co.uk/xmas/

We have also started a few of our own Christmas traditions like having a special meal on Christmas eve with just my husband, myself and our 3 Children. We always have a healthy breakfast with fresh fruit and set the table nicely.

We have taken a tradition from my husbands family and changed it a bit to suit us. My husband grew up with stockings (I never had this) his mother use to be up to all hours in the morning wrapping gifts for 6 children so she would make a Christmas stocking for each of the children with a box of breakfast cereal, a Popper, something else to eat, and other bits and pieces to keep them amused while she slept in. I have taken this idea minus the breakfast and have made a Christmas bag for each of our children and I fill it up during the year and each of the children get it in the morning it helps keep them busy while we are getting ready for the day as we don't open presents until all the extended family are together. The children know the bag is from us and look forward to jumping in our bed Christmas morning so they can be presented with their Christmas bag.

We have other traditions that will be touched on in the other topics.

Child proofing Christmas - ideas on how to decorate you home with young children

How to involve Children in Christmas

I will do these two topics together as I have found the best way to decorate your home and keep looking good is by involving the children. (my children are now 3, 4 and 6)

If you have really young Children it may pay to put a playpen around the Christmas tree or put it up high.

When we decorate the Christmas tree I explain that this is something that once we have finished decorating it they are not to touch they can look as much as they like but are not to touch. Just to be on the safe side I put all the good decorations up higher.

I have purchased quite a few glass baubles that you can fill yourself. Every year I empty them and the Children fill them up again with pretty things. I also buy paper ones that they decorate.

I also let the Children fill my vases (or pretty bowls etc) with coloured baubles. These 2 examples were done by my 3 year old. This is a cheap decoration idea as you use what ever you already have and can buy cheap baubles from a $2 shop, or use old ones you already have.

My Children and I also make a manger, angles. a stable and a star, we find animals from the farm box and set up a play area on the lamp table. I encourage the children to play out the story of Jesus's birth. This is something that is hands on for them and out during the whole of December. I have found these cute little figurines of Mary, Joseph and the 3 wise men that the children can play with all I need to do now is find shepherds. (I will post of photo of it all set up and instructions when we do it in December)

I put out a selection of Christmas picture books on the coffee table for them to read.

We also make lots of Christmas decorations during December and to add to the tree or house.

Having things for your Children to do and be involved is the key here, Christmas cooking with Children is such fun and a great way to spend time together. I will be posting some good child friendly Christmas cooking ideas soon and some links to alergy free festive cooking.

I have found the Better Homes and Garden mags full of great Christmas ideas without all the gossip and star news. The adds are ok and I can let my children look through the mags without worrying about what they may see.

These are some of the Christmas fake Cupcakes and shortbread I make.

Aren't these Angles lovely my friend Shannon from paint mine pink made them. Shannon has a shop where you can find them she also lists on ebay.

Christmas is a great time to teach your Children about Jesus.

Will be posting more Christmas info over the coming weeks. Have fun with your Children and remember Christmas does not have to be a time of stress.